He encouraged me and I went for him to purchase . Eventually I felt my old wishes again . I visited secretly a psychologist who then told me that I did not buy as a woman , but this would be an expression of my basic fault diagnosed and female to male transsexuals .I noticed it at the time the scales from your eyes. I went also do not like to purchase as a woman , but let me take often from the men the other way around . Meanwhile, I dreamed of being a guy myself . Then I told my husband everything. He was bisexual , I knew and he had always had relationships with other men during our marriage. He let me do . Whether I would buy as a woman or as a boy , he would finally last matter , he said. Mainly the coal would zoom . We had by now set us on our way of life on the additional income .
I started to wear men's clothes and felt like a different person . It was then still a very long and difficult road , because I lost my job and also our son could not cope with the situation. He ran away , took drugs and was delinquent . I visited him in jail. Since I already had papers on my male name , got hormones and was looking for a surgeon. I definitely wanted to have a decent cock and can pee standing up. Part of the costs assumed health insurance . The rest I earned on the bar , this time in the right role , as a boy. I saw at first really did not look much older than you, though I was biologically already a grown woman and mother. It was not easy and sometimes I was disgusted me before the suitors , and of myself , especially when I looked into the sad eyes of my boy, whom we adopted as an infant and had now lost for the second time his mother. Somehow we overcame all the difficulties and now he is back on the straight path , has a job and a nice girlfriend . My husband died recently of cancer, like my parents a few years earlier . I now feel my age . Since even toupee and wrinkles pins help nothing . However, I never got a client without a rubber zoom left me and got through in this way at least without diseases. But it was no picnic and if my husband had not been , I would have definitely not bought. "